This is where I live now. Added plus of night badmitton.



This is what I do now. I look a lot more intoxicated than I am.



This is Sierra.



And Don.



This is what Jacob does when I'm at work. Unemployment is not treating him well.

I'll be back in Oregon on the 1st of July.

"Will you walk a little faster?"
Said a whiting to a snail,
"There's a porpoise close behind us,
And he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters
And the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle -
Will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you join the dance?

"You can really have notion
How delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us,
With the lobsters, out to sea!"
But the snail replied, "Too far, too far!"
And gave a look askance -
Said he thanked the whiting kindly,
But he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not,
Could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not,
Could not, could not join the dance.

"What matters it how far we go?"
His scaly friend replied,
"There is another shore, you know,
Upon the other side.
The further off from England
The nearer is to France -
Then turn not pale, beloved snail,
But come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you join the dance?

I like it here already.





-Since the 1970's, the average US home has grown by 80%. Yet American's face a "storage crisis," according to UCLA researchers.

-The self storage industry is only 35 years old. It took 25 years for the first billion square feet of storage space to be built. The second billion square feet was built in just 8 years.

-Last year, Americans spent 7 billion on organizational products for their homes, closets and garages.

-Container store staff are trained to develop an "emotional connection" with customers. Says a salesperson, "When someone comes in to organize belts or shoes, there is usually a bigger problem."

-American women would rather organize their closets that lose weight, according to a 2005 Rubbermaid survey.

-After a Massachusetts family moved into a smaller home in 2005, the mother was, "very depressed," until they converted their den into a "Costco annex."

The tickets have officially been bought. I take off for good on March 17th.

This is all from Robert F. Kennedy's "Crimes Against Nature", which is fantastic.



Several studies, including six by the National Academy of Science (NAS), indicate that arsenic is a potent carcinogen. Bush's problem, of course, is that much of the arsenic in our drinking water is the result of mining activities. And in 2000, the mining industry shoveled $5.6 million in Republican Party campaign chests, with Bush receiving the lion's share of it. He also narrowly lost New Mexico, the big mining state, and the white house wanted to curry favor with the powerful mining interests there.
In 2001, Christine Todd Whitman announced that the EPA would suspend a Clinton era reducing the amount of arsenic allowable in public drinking water supplies. The decision was faxed to New Mexico officials only, as the administration was trying to avoid publicity, but still trying to please mining industry officials.
And then the New York times heard about it. Chaos ensues.
Whitman justified the arsenic rollback, saying she wanted to verify the science behind Clinton's standard. The study, released by NAS found that the EPA had UNDERESTIMATED the cancer risks of arsenic by about tenfold. Whitman, who had pledged that her EPA would follow the science, was now faced with the prospect of dropping standards even lower that the Clinton administration had suggested.
The next morning, the NAS study was a top story in the Washington Post. The New York Times ran a 1,000 word article. A D.C. press conference was scheduled to go underway later that day.
Just before the press conference, American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon. The press conference was canceled, Washington shut down that day, and a new era in Washington history began. On Halloween 2001, Whitman quietly closed the comment period on arsenic before it was completed and announced that the EPA would not change the Clinton standard after all. "The issue had become an albatross for Bush and 9/11 gave them a way to get out," Olson recalls. "I don't think anyone ever read the new NAS study. Everybody just forgot about it."

I've been shit-canned.




Bitches.

A woman who looked way too much like plastic for her own good came into my coffee shop the other day with about 30 Nordstrom bags and asked me for a caramel machiatto, stirred, not shaken. I cannot fathom what goes through these people's heads during the day.

Also, I want everyone to go ahead and read "lies my teacher told me." It's fucking incredible, but it will make you dismiss everything you learned in high school social studies.

My boss will definitely not breast feed me.

I really hate it when my landlord turns off my water without telling me about it and then I can't poop in my own apartment. However, I do have a very nice bathroom very close, I call it Bryan's apartment.

Today is the first day of October, which means that Go See Jacob Day is in 19 days. I also really miss Olga.

I'm thinking about relocating myself.

That means you streetcar.

You are not above the law.

You cannot cross the road when you are faced with a red light.

When you honk at me when I am crossing the road because I have a walk signal, but happen to get in your way it makes me think thoughts that are not, in fact, peaceful.

Fuck you, you big red monstrosity.

I will cut you.

I will cockslap the next asshole who asks me for a FRAPPICHINO. Honest to god, starbucks does not run the menus of all the coffee shops in the world, so don't get huffy with me when I say we don't have those and pretend I have no idea what you're talking about.

And I'm buying a fucking fly stip for this fucking shit hole. Every time I move anything around here around twenty fruit flies free themselves from the syrupy undertow. They're everywhere and I want to vomit.

They should just pay me more.

Fucking cuntbags.

It's times like this that I wish I had a camera. For the past ten minutes, instead of working on my final essay, I've been concentrating on the dude outside my window who is determined to learn how to manage a pogo stick at 11:15PM. He is continuously jumping off of a car which may or may not be his onto the pogo below. This city is so weird.

So, I finally found a new place to live after inevitably being kicked out of the dorms. I'll be living in SE PDX near Powell on 29th. Oh, and there will be house warming parties.

I hate the inner core of any frat boy he thinks he can be fucking smooth and then ask me to do his part of the group project. So I told him to do it himself, it was only the fucking bibliography. Half hour later I get a call, "Um, how do I cite a source?" I'd like to send him back to grade school.

On a lighter note, I smoke less during the summer, which my lungs won't stop thanking me for.

That's right I was at the Arcade Fire concert last night. Let's just say it was an experience. Of a lifetime.

Everyone asks me for cigarettes, but no one ever offers. Also, next time a homeless man yells at me for having any spare change, the iron fist is coming down.

Friday night was-

Mac 'n Cheese at Montage
Drinking the perfect amount
"I want to fuck you on a yacht"
Stripping to underpants and swimming in a fountain in downtown Portland
Someone running down the hallway of my dorm with no bottoms on
An excellent trade for the hangover the next day

I can tell when I am generally not pleased with my life when I am spending hours everyday on webmd checking my symptoms and then going into spirals of anxiety when reading about my possible diseases. I wants finals to be over. I wants my week long break from work. I want a huge, moist slice of chocolate cake. I want to feel worse about smoking in my dorm room. I want everyone to know that I will be in Corvallis for spring break. I promise I will be in a better mood then, I'm only awaiting the chance for a good night's sleep.